You do you

You do you

I heard those words echoing back in my head. The words call and beckoned towards me. It was but a simple statement that had more implications for me to just set loose. To be just that me. When I first made this blog I had all these ideas about what my blog should be. Writing reviews on movies, video games, books and TV shows. How it all face the music of being good. But what does facing the music really mean? Does it mean just being you and facing the harsh realities that we live in? All those ideas I used to have. About what I was going to become and what I can do to change the world flew out the window, the moment the storm came crashing in. The hurricane which was depression, my world was set asunder. An inner turmoil and a path of self-destruction was all that was left. Afraid of the world, the blog and whatever life that I used to have cease to exist. Face the music became a ghost. A social experiment that was made in collage left abandon like all the shattered dreams and illusion of what life should be.

Escaping into a digital vortex of pixelated fantasy seem like the only option or the bitter sweet embrace of death. There was no denying I was ever coming back but here I am. “You do you,” a student volunteering at the soup kitchen said this while commenting on my hazel eye like colors and hair colour. A statement, who knows? For so long I played so many roles that I no longer know what being me actually means. I want to become something but what. What is the point of this blog ? Am I here to discover something or hide from the so call fictional trolls living in my head. Who am I writing this for? What am I really looking for? Being me.

I guess who ever is reading this, I hope you enjoy going through with me facing the music that life has made. Cause I am not sure where this blogs take me.     

(A special Thank you dqsketches. I decided to use your art as a therapeutic colouring and hang it on my cupboard)

Facing the music…..again

It’s been what….years. No more like ages since I wrote on this blog. The beginning of this blog, I had in mind more of giving constructive criticism something along the line of Roger Ebert but who am I kidding. I am no critic in an age where everybody is literally a critic about everything from movies to food to even how your car should smell. Instead all I could do is give my ‘Opinion’ on well everything. Where am I going with this at midnight. Well I actually wanted to explain why I am returning to facing the music and here I am running away from the music.

Facing the music as mentioned was all about a ‘reviews on stories in particular’ but returning back to this blog, I have decided instead to change the blog to an area of discussion about mental health, identity and its relation to the media. In particular video games. I love playing video games and in general I just love stories, if there is a movie, TV show, video game or just sitting down listening so someone tell their stories. I want to be there listening and embracing it. After experiencing my own battles with depression (still is), I decided to change this blog slightly with the inclusion of mental health and identity. There will still be ‘opinion’ or review pieces though.

Facing the music is hard especially when it’s your own inner critic that are playing your musical instruments.